I am an emerging fiction writer living in Chicago. While I am a Luddite, I am using the forum because I love to meet new people, especially fellow artists, and learn new things.

Anyone interested in reading my published work can access it through the link under the My Web Site header on this blog. My short story "Life Goes on Without Me" recently won an honorable mention from Conclave: A Journal of Chracter's 2009 Fiction Contest. I am currently working on a novel, new short stories, and a creative non-fiction essay. My friend T.E. Russell has encouraged me to write a screenplay.

And as always, I am still submitting, submitting, submitting.

I look forward to meeting and reading from you.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Why? Please know I love you.

How cool... at the Cavern.

Never have I felt a loss as this. Mike was too talented a person as well as a musician to be taken away from us so soon and so violently. He knew how to love and unselfishly give. I will always remember him like this and not the broken body I saw. More than one life was destroyed and taken the night of June 6. So much pain and so many tears.

Today I bought a gold-plated medal featuring St. Michael the Archangel. I have been told that medals and belief in angels are nothing but psychological methods to help us cope. Doesn't matter if that's true. It's what I need right now.

So many internet posts about Mike, his music, and the love he gave to everyone. I am seeking out answers that I know I won't uncover in this lifetime. All I hear and read state that Mike's death was God's will and we cannot understand or question God. The only thing that has made sense to me and given me some hope is that someday we will be able to sense Mike along with the music he left behind. We are in darkness and cannot sense the worlds Mike now belongs to. If I don't sense it in our reality, I must strive to reach the place where I can sense him after I die. My friend Eleanor says Mike can still sense us and is looking out for us. I have to believe that is true.

I'm not a poet, but I have begun composing poems about Michael. Knowing my lack of lyrical competence, I have checked out a book from the Harold Washington Library that was written by award-winning and nationally recognized poets. Mike was such a talented songwriter, and I know he will kindly smirk at my immature attempts. But my intention is there; I hope it reaches him.

I will never get over losing Mike. His parents, friends, girlfriend, and family echo me. Mike showed me what true friendship is and to recognize the true friends in my life. Nothing about him was manufactured or patronizing. Mike was pure genuine love.

1 comment:

Crystlle said...

The only thing that has made sense to me and given me some hope is that someday we will be able to sense Mike along with the music he left behind.

“We observe that in every deed performed in the world there adheres and remains in that deed the very mind which performed it; so that in the table we sense the mindful craft of the carpenter and his command of his craft, whether great or small, for at the time of his work he evaluated it with his knowledge and intelligence, so that one, who examines that deed and thinks about the mind concealed therein (realizes) it is from its inception bound up with the mind that made it, that is, they are, in fact, unified.

And therefore, when someone thinks about his friend's performance, and comprehends the intelligence that he exercised in that performance, then both are equally involved with one power and intelligence; they are, now, in fact, unified like a man who chances upon his beloved friend in the market, and embraces and kisses him and to draw them apart is impossible on account of the great bond between them.”

-Rabbi Yehuda Ashlag (Baal HaSulam)

Nothing is ever lost in spirituality. Thank you for sharing your beloved friend Mike with all of us here.

Sending you Love and healing,